Destinations, written in May...

I penned this into a journal while in a parking lot sometime in the month of May...and decided to type and polish it tonight. Hope it is enjoyable...

It seems I’m having a very watchful day. I’ve found entertainment and intrigue in nearly every individual and circumstance I’ve crossed thus far, and I’m certain I’m not done “watching” yet. What I’m watching for, I do not know. But I will tell you what I wish I’d been more attentive to in my landscape: the location of Panera bread.
I was hungry, and had a challenging morning. Just imagine that it began with spilling coffee over myself on my way to a final, and yes, of course I was wearing white. This event was promptly followed by having my art portfolio stolen, which, expectedly, was due this morning for my final course grade. I felt a bit worn and it was only 11:00 am, so for reprieve I thought to utilize Panera Bread’s free wifi and munch on carbohydrates until I was motivated to review for my next exam at 2pm.
I drove around for about 20 minutes, passing several good places, but was sure I would find Panera bread. I’d seen it from the highway several times, and knew it was just a glimpse away from campus…but it was tucked away hiding, just daring me keep wasting my parent’s gas.
This was in this moment I entered a desperate state of mind, and committed a most grievous sin. I abandoned my pursuit of Panera, and pulled up to a McDonalds drive-thru.
Now I am not a fan of McDonald’s (though I confess I’ve a certain fetish for their $1.29 ice creams in the summer). So I tried to assuage my guilt by thinking of the money I’d save purchasing just a cheeseburger, and that I really was protecting myself from lusting over bread and overeating at Panera Bread. But the reality is, I settled for a greasy cheeseburger handed to me by a just as greasy employee whose facial expression could likely turn a “HappyMeal” emo.
I passed through the line disappointed but more acutely hungry and decided I’d just eat as I drove back to campus. It would give me less time to think about the unnatural things I was filling my grumbling stomach with. Accordingly, it was at this moment, simultaneously looking up from setting the saturated burger bag on my car floor, that I finally spotted Panera across the street.
I proceeded to maneuver my vehicle across the intersection, secure a parking spot, and sit there, contemplating the level of desecration and caliber of disdain I’d bring for entering with my McDonald’s trash in hand. I could not do it. I concluded I’d rather hide the incriminating bag in my vehicle. But even having resolved this and having found Panera bread I recognized I’d ruined the experience for the day. And then the thought hit me, “this is precisely like my walk with God”.
The Lord wants me to eat Panera bread.
Granted, this statement is also my obsession with carbohydrates manifesting itself, but please persist in following this comparison.
I was hungry, and I knew Panera bread was good. I also knew it was available. But I became impatient waiting for it and distracted searching for it so I settled on a cheaper less-healthy alternative.
How often do I do that with my Lord? Food is food, yes, but Panera bread is far more nourishing and fulfilling than McDonalds. How frequently do I take a temporarily “good” substitute and desert the better plan the Lord has for me?
Consider the atmospheres also.
At McDonalds, I merely drove through an entry point, replied to a faceless voice through a speaker, exchanged my money without receiving a name or eye contact, obtained my bag, and was ushered on. There was no relationship and nothing beyond the order and monetary exchange in way of my communication with the McDonalds employee. God desires so much more than to have us “pay” our petitions for a quick, cheap, artificial, and unhealthy substitute to His pure and real words of life and experiences of spirit. Yes, I stretch my metaphor, I know Panera Bread is not “that good”, but bear with me.
Let’s also consider the environments I entered into. At Panera, the environment first causes waiting. You are welcomed, given the name of the individual you will be in contact with there, and are seated, inviting patience and a time to survey the surroundings and partake in conversations. You do not actively retrieve your food, but wait until it is delivered to you after its proper time of preparation.
This is the first stage of what we must do in our relationship with the Lord. We must approach with intentionality to allow for the time of our nourishment, or we’ll merely come with our need and hurry off before we’ve given Him the time to fulfill it. I’d like to add, whose fault is it if the care you receive at the hand of the Lord is not “complete” in the sense of how you wanted it? Had you allowed Him to set it before you maybe it would seem less “half baked” in your mortal perception. I would also like to ask though, how many times have your “eyes been bigger than your stomach”? The Lord is our portion, not our perception of our portion.
And back to quality.
Generally, places like McDonald’s are located for convenience. Places like McDonald’s are happened upon for a quick fix as we hurry on our ways, not planned as ideal locations for the replenishing of our bodies. The caliber of McDonald’s is simply not as high as that of Panera. You rarely find an individual or group planning to “go out to dinner” at McDonald’s. The place simply isn’t representative of the class we want to feast upon if we’re choosing to plan the occasion.
Again, bringing this back to the Lord, what do I really want? To rush through and stumble upon the “quick fixes” I spy as I am seeking the Lord and to meet with Him? Do I want my prayer and Bible study time to be the 10-second drive-thru line that lets me pass on with my day and plans, or the engagement of coming to wait for the better sustenance that is being prepared specifically for me? Now clearly, Panera Bread is not the perfect example of what God wants in His relationship with us. While yes, God provides for and brings us good, it is because He is our sovereign-loving Father, not a lunch-box God designed to be at our “order”. God is so much more about refinement and the endurance in the journey. We may know where we are going, think we do, or not know at all, but we ought not to settle for anything less than the full richness of God’s plan…even if a quick “drive-thru” substitute may appear to still be on the path. These sites are only designed for our short-term fuel that we may pass forth to where God’s fullness is revealed and found. Do not be confused about the stops; maintain recognition that the Lord is keeper of the destination.