Morning of Paradox

I woke up very confused this morning for two reasons. The first, because there was an unusual rattling noise coming from the trash basket under my desk. Upon discovery that my phone had somehow slipped off the desk surface and into the basket, I retrieved it, opened it, and read a text message that contained the second source of confusion:

" It's never too early for a paradox! So, what is the longest 4 letter word? "



I rubbed my eyes, stretched, and sent back "long, past, or wait?".



"Ur close... it's Time" I received in response.



And that is where I disagreed... "I don't think so, it's love".



Keep in mind I did not actually text back all of what I'm about to write for you, but here is the expansion of the morning's thoughts.



God made time for man, and He is beyond it. Time had a specific "start", and will have an officiated "end" when we enter eternity with God. As I recently heard it described in a lecture by Reverend Professor Fiddes, God exists in "Simultaneity"; past, present, and future, all occur in the same "present" moment for Him. To try and comprehend such a simultaneous moment ties my brain in knots, but as it only functions to increase my wonder for God I'm alright with that.



In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul writes "and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love." And in Hebrews chapter 11 says that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and conviction of what is not seen." So to me, faith is something that will not endure, for when we enter eternity with our Lord, what is "unseen" of Him shall be seen by us, and what we have hoped for in Him will be confirmed. Faith and hope will be fulfilled, but His love for us, and our love for Him will assuredly still be. God's love for us is written through creation, the word, and history. He is an unfailing God, I am confident His love is the most enduring of all things.


Furthermore, God and love are inseparable.
"whoever does not love, does not know God"
"if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us"
"whoever lives in love lives in God"
"be rooted and established in love"
"we will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those that love Him"
"nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
"no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love Him"
"be encouraged in heart and united in love...that you may know the mysteries of God"
and of course, the famous "God is love".

The way we are to live, think, speak, work, and even eat and drink, are all written of in scripture as being done in love.

I become rather abstract for a mere texted mind game to come up with the "longest 4-letter-word", but it was a good reminder to start my day remembering that without love I "am nothing", and I "gain nothing" (1 Corinthians 13).

Love has the greatest longevity as it is in God, love has the greatest impact as it is from God, and love has the greatest value as it is backed by God...and all the worth of the life of Christ.



Of course, this morning "long" was a measurement, but I hope today be keep a focus on "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ".

Here, I pray for you reading as Paul did for the Ephesians...

"...That you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Destinations, written in May...

I penned this into a journal while in a parking lot sometime in the month of May...and decided to type and polish it tonight. Hope it is enjoyable...

It seems I’m having a very watchful day. I’ve found entertainment and intrigue in nearly every individual and circumstance I’ve crossed thus far, and I’m certain I’m not done “watching” yet. What I’m watching for, I do not know. But I will tell you what I wish I’d been more attentive to in my landscape: the location of Panera bread.
I was hungry, and had a challenging morning. Just imagine that it began with spilling coffee over myself on my way to a final, and yes, of course I was wearing white. This event was promptly followed by having my art portfolio stolen, which, expectedly, was due this morning for my final course grade. I felt a bit worn and it was only 11:00 am, so for reprieve I thought to utilize Panera Bread’s free wifi and munch on carbohydrates until I was motivated to review for my next exam at 2pm.
I drove around for about 20 minutes, passing several good places, but was sure I would find Panera bread. I’d seen it from the highway several times, and knew it was just a glimpse away from campus…but it was tucked away hiding, just daring me keep wasting my parent’s gas.
This was in this moment I entered a desperate state of mind, and committed a most grievous sin. I abandoned my pursuit of Panera, and pulled up to a McDonalds drive-thru.
Now I am not a fan of McDonald’s (though I confess I’ve a certain fetish for their $1.29 ice creams in the summer). So I tried to assuage my guilt by thinking of the money I’d save purchasing just a cheeseburger, and that I really was protecting myself from lusting over bread and overeating at Panera Bread. But the reality is, I settled for a greasy cheeseburger handed to me by a just as greasy employee whose facial expression could likely turn a “HappyMeal” emo.
I passed through the line disappointed but more acutely hungry and decided I’d just eat as I drove back to campus. It would give me less time to think about the unnatural things I was filling my grumbling stomach with. Accordingly, it was at this moment, simultaneously looking up from setting the saturated burger bag on my car floor, that I finally spotted Panera across the street.
I proceeded to maneuver my vehicle across the intersection, secure a parking spot, and sit there, contemplating the level of desecration and caliber of disdain I’d bring for entering with my McDonald’s trash in hand. I could not do it. I concluded I’d rather hide the incriminating bag in my vehicle. But even having resolved this and having found Panera bread I recognized I’d ruined the experience for the day. And then the thought hit me, “this is precisely like my walk with God”.
The Lord wants me to eat Panera bread.
Granted, this statement is also my obsession with carbohydrates manifesting itself, but please persist in following this comparison.
I was hungry, and I knew Panera bread was good. I also knew it was available. But I became impatient waiting for it and distracted searching for it so I settled on a cheaper less-healthy alternative.
How often do I do that with my Lord? Food is food, yes, but Panera bread is far more nourishing and fulfilling than McDonalds. How frequently do I take a temporarily “good” substitute and desert the better plan the Lord has for me?
Consider the atmospheres also.
At McDonalds, I merely drove through an entry point, replied to a faceless voice through a speaker, exchanged my money without receiving a name or eye contact, obtained my bag, and was ushered on. There was no relationship and nothing beyond the order and monetary exchange in way of my communication with the McDonalds employee. God desires so much more than to have us “pay” our petitions for a quick, cheap, artificial, and unhealthy substitute to His pure and real words of life and experiences of spirit. Yes, I stretch my metaphor, I know Panera Bread is not “that good”, but bear with me.
Let’s also consider the environments I entered into. At Panera, the environment first causes waiting. You are welcomed, given the name of the individual you will be in contact with there, and are seated, inviting patience and a time to survey the surroundings and partake in conversations. You do not actively retrieve your food, but wait until it is delivered to you after its proper time of preparation.
This is the first stage of what we must do in our relationship with the Lord. We must approach with intentionality to allow for the time of our nourishment, or we’ll merely come with our need and hurry off before we’ve given Him the time to fulfill it. I’d like to add, whose fault is it if the care you receive at the hand of the Lord is not “complete” in the sense of how you wanted it? Had you allowed Him to set it before you maybe it would seem less “half baked” in your mortal perception. I would also like to ask though, how many times have your “eyes been bigger than your stomach”? The Lord is our portion, not our perception of our portion.
And back to quality.
Generally, places like McDonald’s are located for convenience. Places like McDonald’s are happened upon for a quick fix as we hurry on our ways, not planned as ideal locations for the replenishing of our bodies. The caliber of McDonald’s is simply not as high as that of Panera. You rarely find an individual or group planning to “go out to dinner” at McDonald’s. The place simply isn’t representative of the class we want to feast upon if we’re choosing to plan the occasion.
Again, bringing this back to the Lord, what do I really want? To rush through and stumble upon the “quick fixes” I spy as I am seeking the Lord and to meet with Him? Do I want my prayer and Bible study time to be the 10-second drive-thru line that lets me pass on with my day and plans, or the engagement of coming to wait for the better sustenance that is being prepared specifically for me? Now clearly, Panera Bread is not the perfect example of what God wants in His relationship with us. While yes, God provides for and brings us good, it is because He is our sovereign-loving Father, not a lunch-box God designed to be at our “order”. God is so much more about refinement and the endurance in the journey. We may know where we are going, think we do, or not know at all, but we ought not to settle for anything less than the full richness of God’s plan…even if a quick “drive-thru” substitute may appear to still be on the path. These sites are only designed for our short-term fuel that we may pass forth to where God’s fullness is revealed and found. Do not be confused about the stops; maintain recognition that the Lord is keeper of the destination.

My Room

I'm going to have to decide some sort of way to be regular about posting...

It's midterms, so I'm halfway through the semester and yet I haven't even gotten the pictures of my room up yet. Granted, I've tried to take pictures several times. At first my excuse was the incomplete decorating, later, the mess I needed to clean up. But, today, with my room in some semblance of order, and with as much decor up as I intend there to be, the pictures are going up!

There are four shots; one from each corner (approximately) of the room. I started by the door, and moved my way clockwise. Hopefully it makes some sort of sense!

Here we go...

The bathroom...the door is to the tub and toilet, but it's nice having the mirror and sink in the room. That way I can have friends spend the night and we won't be in each others way in the mornings.

View two...my two closets. I know, I'm spoiled. I feel like I have all the room in the world especially after living at Hume - 3 girls, a room nearly half the size, and no real closet. The room was apparently designed for two people, as you can also see it came furnished with a second bed (aka, my "sofa").

The third view, my little bedside bookshelf and such. I've got quite the collection of books, it's rather humorous. I have technical manuals for my Information Technologies course, combined with works of CS Lewis I hope to be able to finish eventually. There are journals, devotionals, and several classic old texts from BIC last year all mingled in to some "fun" reading and the rest of my textbooks.

And finally, you can really see my work station. I assembled the desk all by my self! Ok, not really, and I definitely had a few extra pieces, but it's working fine! I've got my calendar white board, pictures, the printer, and sticky notes I put up on the wall when I need to remember something. I'm a lot more organized than last year! You can also see the little hallway that leads downstairs. So, now you know, this is my post as I type away to you.

So there we have it, my room in the apartment. I'll try and get a shot of the kitchen and living room added up here another day. Presently, the living room is rearranged from a movie night, and the kitchen is full of pumpkin remnants from our recent carving endeavors. Don't worry, those pictures will be included here also. Hope this helps you visualize where I am. 'Til next time, Allison

Sunflowers

I love sunflowers. I likely developed my fascination with them from my Mother; when I was five she hand-stenciled them on my bunkbed to match a blanket I had, and a few years later had a garden mural with them painted on my bedroom wall. But I think another part of my affinity for sunflowers is rooted in the way sunflowers move.

As the sun travels east to west the head of the sunflower bears the same direction to follow it. Then, during the night, the sunflower head returns to face the east again and anticipate the dawn.

I want to be like a sunflower, in that my face is constantly turned that I may watch the Son of God, my Savior, and that everyday I repeat that process. When the sky is dark and I cannot see Him, I want to be able to return to where I know I'll find Him when the shadows pass. The sunflower doesn't despair when evening arrives and nor is it inactive as it waits...the sunflower knows the morning will come, and so just as faithfully prepares for when it once more will glimpse the Son.

I only just recently learned something about the seeds of the sunflower though. I had previously enjoyed the recognition that as the sunflower head moved, it allowed the seeds it carried to receive the maximum amount of light they could. I related this to my personal life, asking, do I intentionally choose to expose others to the light I know? And do I teach them the direction of the Son? I prayed so, and I sought that intentionality, but there is more to the arrangment of the seeds on the head than I had known.

The shape and proportion of the seeds combined with the pattern and degree (fibonacci numbers) of their angles around the center of the head is actually the scientifically most plausible way for the sunflower to have the highest seed-carrying-capacity. This sounds rather technical, but the point I try to make is: Sunflower seeds are arranged in such a way that there may be the highest number possible present.

It reminds me of the bracelet I wear from Hume Lake Christian Camps. The bracelet says "HPI" which stands for "Highest Possible Impact". Let us not just live our lives in a way that some will see the light, but let's covet the lives of all for Christ. He says that the "harvest is plentiful but the workers are few". I do not mean to encourage that we judge our lives by a count of individuals, as I think it was clear earlier the quality of the sunlight is the goal. But I do mean to encourage that we be as effective as we can for Christ. He made our mortal time short in comparison to His eternity, so let's be conscious that we have no promised tomorrows, and invest ourselves accordingly.

Our lives are not our own, and nor are our talents. Let us pray to be, and then actually employ ourselves to be good stewards with what He has instilled in us.

(Artwork: Top Piece, Acrylic painted at Age 5. Bottem Piece, Charcoal drawn at Age 19)